Situations
by bart4nat
Summary: A slightly Cracky KaiShin. Shinichi starts ranting about the situations all us horrible authors put him in and Kaito tries to calm him down.


* * *

**Blah:** Me doing something

(Blah): Me talking

This wasn't originally too cracky but....

Disclaimer: I own neither Kaito Kid or Detective Conan, I just bend them to my will.

I actually wrote part of this in Lit. when my teacher was being superbly annoying and giving us grammar tests and crap like we're 5 and can't tell the difference between their and they're.

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"Come on Shin-Chan, it's not that bad," Kaito whined to a currently agitated detective.

Said detective was glaring at the screen in front of him like it'd killed his favorite cat but it remained unfazed.

"How is it even possible?" He sounded incredulous and inwardly Kaito had to admit that it was pretty bad. " I can almost-_almost_- understand those American yaoi fan-girls misspelling Meitantei or some of the more complicated names but (can't think of anything really bad right now lol)" Shinichi's voice continued rising (despite the lack or words) until Kaito was thanking God, Buddha or whatever deity there was that Kudo mansion was so large and neighbors so far from them.

"And some of these situations!" Shinichi continued to rant, going full throttle now, " Do they really think I'd let you have me on the ground in some park, where anyone could(and did) walk by? I mean, give me some credit (*chuckles sheepishly*)"

"I know Shin-Chan, trust me, I know! But there;s no reason to get so worked up over something we can't change. They don't even think we're really real.(I do!) Shut up, you! (Sorry)" Kaito had his hands out in a placating gesture.

Shinichi stood abruptly from the chair he'd been sitting on while searching his mac, starting to pace and throw his arms around in his agitation. "We could sue! Invasion of privacy! I'm a famous detective and you're the freaking Kaito Kid. If anyone could, we could get in and kill them all(Eep!) No one would ever have to know!" Shinichi cackled maniacally, rubbing his hands together in glee at the plans already running around his head. (*Gulp quietly*)

"I'm non-violent," Kaito deadpanned ignoring the annoying parenthesis, not at all phased by his boyfriend's momentary bout of insanity.

Shinichi paused his pacing in front of his couch and gave Kaito a bland stare. "Of course you are." Another few moments were passed staring at each other before Kaito abruptly burst out laughing causing the ruffled detective to crack a smile before heaving a sigh and collapsing back on his leather couch(Oooh, pretty leather).

"It's just so frustrating," he started, soothed as always by Kaito's mere presence "To read all these situations they put us in. Like those 'Chatty Plunnies' by Dragon-sama (I 3 you Sama). Who the hell would kick a soccer ball at a giant freaking robot!?(It was really funny though) "Shut up!" Both men snapped at once. (Sorry, sorry. Geez **mumbles incoherently about stupid, overreacting detectives**)

"Excuse me?" Shinichi asked coldly glaring who knows where. (Huh, me? Oh, nothing, nothing...**sweat-drop**)

"Stop interrupting the story, baka! You're not helping," Kaito whispered frantically, hunched down a little as if to avoid a blow.

(My god this story is so cracking now. **Looks pointedly at Shinichi**)

"Are you trying to imply something? It's not my fault. You're the one at the computer controlling all this like the freak you are."(Ouch, but fine be that way. I guess I can just call Hakuba over and have him star in this story. HakuKai is just so adorable **Spaces out dreamily.)**

Kaito's smothered laughter cut off abruptly from the corner he'd been hiding in. "Shinichi!" He hissed. "You idiot. Don't make her mad. Apologize. I don't want to get stuck with that cosplaying Holmes freak."

Somewhere, in Northern England, Saguru Hakuba sneezed.

Shinichi glared at Bart4Nat(That's me! **Cough** sorry) before biting out an obviously insincere apology.

(Well since you at least tried to get him to Kaito, I guess I can give you another chance.)

Kaito breathed a sigh of relief and glomped onto Shinichi, the fear of being forced with Hakuba still fresh in his mind.

(I think I might leave you two lovebirds alone now **Twinkle** **Exits scene**...sort of)

"God that was scary." Kaito breathed out through shuddering breaths. Shinichi nodded his agreement._ Note to self: Never piss off writers who can control your every move and love life. _

-----------#End----------

Me:Sucess! So, all you writers who have ever made any stupidly blunt mistakes or just wrote something Shinichi wouldn't like, you can thank me because now he won't be coming after you to kill you.

Shinichi:Wait, what!? You planned that?

Kaito:Shinichi.....

Me: Well, duh! I am the writer. And **evil twinkle **I can still give Kaito to Hakuba.

Shinichi:....

Kaito: **Whimper **

Hakuba: Well, I wouldn't mind...

Shinichi: Back off ,bastard, Kaito's mine **Grabs Kaito possesively**

Hattori: You should really listen to him, Hakuba. He knows over 100 ways to kill you without getting caught and has no qualms using them.

Shinichi: Hattori, where the hell did you come from.

Hattori: I...uh...

Me: I invited him. **Glares at Shinichi**

Shinichi: Uh..Y-yes ma'am. Whatever you say, Hime.

Me: Oooh I like that. Sorry Hakuba you're going to have to leave. I don't get nearly as interesting results when I put you with Kaito. Just a ruined office.

Hakuba: **Mutters disappointingly when leaving**

Hattori: You're being awfully quiet Kaito

Kaito: **Whimper**

Shinichi: I think he's still scarred from imagining himself with Hakuba.

Kaito: Shinichi **Whimper**

Shinichi: Shhh...I'm here, koi. It's okay, I won't let the evil Holmes get to you. **Glares at bart4nat**

Me: Yeah, yeah, okay. I get it. No HakuKai. I can live with that. Th-Th-That's all folks!


End file.
